So…some of you may be wondering what happened after the kayaking trip? I flipped the packraft while following Thai into a rapid, and spent the rest of the trip mildly hypothermic, slightly pissed at him for taking me on a “float” trip with rapids (one called Horseshoe Falls or something!?), but also knowing mostly I was only pissed because it was cold;) I’ve been in the hypothermic bad mood before, so I quickly applied the antidotes:
I immediately got into the car after getting out of my boat and wet clothes, blasted the heat, opened a beer, turned on the radio which happened to be on Madonna, and practiced my Jedi Mindtricks of reframing.
I felt disconnected again, and cold, but I decided that instead of focusing on what I didn’t want, I’d focus on what I didwant. So I looked at the photo Thai took of me right before we got into the river and how smiley and magical I was feeling. And I will admit to you that I blurted out, soon after that photo, “Hey…I need to feel more connected to you, and I need to hear you express your love a bit more right now.” So he told me in poetic Spanish (he’s Italian and Vietnamese, by the way) how he has loved me for 12 years, and always will, and that he loves me like no other. And that he will love me, as always, forever…and did that now count enough
that I didn’t have to worry about it ever again;)
Funny how a cold-water flip can wipe away a memory like that for a bit. So it is important to have these skills to tap into the positive things in our lives regularly!
So now I am back to feeling connected. Yay!
Other things: I dropped my mom off at the airport today. It was a lovely 4 day visit, which is the amount of time we can spend together and still fully
appreciate one another’s awesomeness. So, as of today, I still feel she is awesome;) We went to a bonfire one night, we watched Thai kayak and had a beautiful heart to heart by the river. Nature and stillness is a beautiful container for opening the heart.
After we settled in by the river and listened to the rapids, she asked me, “Ana, what did you think of how I raised you?”
Hmmm. Trick question? I decided to be honest.
“Well, I know you always did the very best you could. I wish there had been less fighting, and hitting and yelling, but I am proud of who I am. And the most important thing you taught me was that I can do anything.”
Her response? “I know. I am sorry for doing those things. Back then I thought that’s how you got kids to listen to you. It’s how I was raised, and how a lot of people in my culture raised their kids. I’m sorry. I didn’t know then what I know now – that you can talk to your kids and explain things. So, I’m sorry.”
And she sat there all cute, by the river, and a red-tailed hawk flew overhead and I hugged her. I told her thank you for saying that to me.
Old dogs can learn new tricks. She is 76 (going on 77).
So, now I am reminded how hypothermia and getting older are not good excuses for staying in negative patterns…I LOVE getting rid of those
Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at FreedomJunkie.com/jedi-juice